The fear of rejection has always been something that I have had to live with. Often, I try to remember a time when I didn’t seek acceptance. What would this look like? Would it be a feeling of being at my exact place of belonging, or would it be the absence of that place completely. Is the fear of rejection a blessing, in that you have so many things that you feel a part of and don’t want to lose? Or is it a dialogue whereby you feel you have nothing to say? The times where I struggle most are in front of an expectant crowd. I’ve always preferred smaller groups. They’re easier to navigate. Perhaps that’s the problem. As someone who struggles with the fear, you always work overtime to try to navigate your way out of it. Perhaps I should try to float.
I’m held up the salt,
some of it already beginning to dry on my cheek.
The hot sun beating down
My skin warm on one side
and cool on the other.
Feeling light, as the blue sky above
Transforms into a darker shade
and I dive into it
causing the stars to be washed from my skin
and claim their rightful place.
I continue to go deeper into the night sky
Seeking answers as to what each passing cloud means,
and why it insists on passing by.